About Grieving:

• A grief-stricken person must choose to TRY if he or she is to feel better.
• Others cannot do this for him or her.
• The person must know that they CAN survive.
• They might not believe they can survive this, but they can.
• This is not the end. This is a Middle. 

It is common to suffer a loss of appetite, headaches, inability to sleep. Medical intervention can be a powerful tool during the worst phases of grief. 

• A grief-stricken person may feel guilty or angry.
• One of the Stages of Grief is depression.
• It is important to understand the Stages of Grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. The Stages follow NO orderly pattern. Agony is agony. Expect set-backs. A person may feel okay one afternoon, only to be smacked by grief the next day. It is like riding a rollercoaster of emotion.
• When they least expect it, they may be ambushed by the grief. That is how the process works.
• Over time, the grief work will give the person a few minutes off. It is like a string of beads, they get a few more minutes strung together as they begin to recover from the loss. In some instances, the person may never fully recover from the loss but will learn to live with it. Eventually healing takes place.  
• Outside support can be very helpful. Talking about the loss and the process in a safe environment can help move toward healing.
• Actions one can take: walking every day, managing to eat, getting out of bed and showering, going around others.

ENCOURAGE THEM TO STRIVE TO TAKE JUST ONE DAY AT A TIME. HELP IS AVAILABLE THROUGH HOSPITALS, CHURCH AND HOSPICE ORGANIZATIONS WHICH OFFER SUPPORT GROUPS. SUPPORT CAN BE A POWERFUL TOOL.

Helping Yourself Through Difficult Times:

1. Your thoughts impact how you feel both physically and mentally

2. Understand that love does not end with death – Talk about the person whom you lost

3. Do what feels right to during this difficult time. Focus on what YOU want to do, not what everyone else thinks you should be doing.

4. Understand that it is okay to talk about your grief. 

5. Understand that your physical and psychological limits are much more fragile than in the past before your loss

6. Eliminate unnecessary stress – You need to take special Time Out for yourself.

7. Surround yourself with supportive, comforting people who understand what you are going through.

8. Plan ahead to arm yourself for family gatherings, allow yourself to change your mind if it is too much.

9. Embrace your memories.

10. Spend some time focusing on the future. What do you want out of this new year of 2016. Why not make a little list of goals or promises to yourself. 

LOSS OF A LOVED ONE SUPPORT GROUP with Dr. Donna Friess

 First Thursday of each month, from 1 p.m.-2:30

 Sign up: Call San Juan Community Center, 25925 Camino Del Avion, San Juan Capistrano, Ca 92675

(949) 493-5911. No Charge.